Dating should be joy, even if a little gruelling at times. Dating overheen the age of 50 isn’t always pretty. You know yourself better than you did at 30, but you have less patience for the endless BS — and it is endless — and it’s difficult to find someone with whom you want to spend however much time you have left.
But dating can and should be energizing, titillating and educational. Far too many women overheen 50 are unhappy with the dating world, especially the Internet dating world. (I don’t date studs, so I don’t know, but assume many fellows are unhappy with it spil well.)
That’s too bad, because the online dating practice has opened up possibilities to meet people you never would have met before, and if some of those people are creepy or boring or not what they seem to be, here’s a news flash: That wasgoed true back ter the days when you only met people at work, at schoolgebouw, at the gym, at caf, or the fear introduced to you by friends. Online dating isn’t something to fear even if you toevluchthaven’t dated for years
I’ve bot dating pretty much since I wasgoed 49. That’s 13 years of it. (I’ll let you do the math — I don’t like telling my age out noisy.)
The following is stated neither with spewing out pride strafgevangenis cowering shame: During those past 13 years, I’ve had more than 1,000 dates with more than 300 different women. And that doesn’t count the five “meaningful relationships” I had along the way.
While most of my MBA classmates developed expertise te one field or another that earned them millions, my expertise has bot. dating.
I like dating. I like reading online profiles. I love meeting fresh people. I love hearing stories and everyone — especially women overheen 50 — has a story.
My dating life has bot about 95% positive. Indeed. I almost always love the date, whether it leads to a 2nd one, a 10th one, a relationship, or whether wij say goodbye after two hours together.
Along the way on this path that most people might consider a waste of time and money, some lessons have emerged. There are things boys and women can take going into this dating abyss, but let’s embark with advice for you (older) guys, te switch sides order of importance
• Funny is good. Optimistic is even better. Cynical and bitter might work if you’re a dark and complicated graduate student. Otherwise, always be upbeat (certainly on a very first or 2nd date).
• Work to stay ter good form. Ter a nation of overweight people, keeping gezond will set you exclusief from the crowd, and also say some good things about you without uttering a word.
• Be vigorous and adventurous, ter the bedroom and out.
• Be doggedly attentive and affectionate — do things for women, from grocery shopping to touching their tired feet to being a sociable party companion and more.
• But by far the most significant advice I can give is LISTEN!
Listening is the key to dating success. Yes, money is significant (I don’t have much, so I can only assume from what I’ve heard), and being attractive is fine (I’m not Clooney but I attempt my best.)
But listening trumps them all. I mean truly listening. Being genuinely interested te hearing about their histories, their successes, their disappointments, their journeys yet to take. I am always stunned by how most people just don’t listen, and how far one can get simply by listening.
Most women overheen 50 have bot ter relationships with boys who don’t care much about what they have to say. For Ten, 20, 30 years, the studs te their lives have bot blathering on about themselves and not listening.
I Love listening. Maybe it’s the reporter ter mij who always preferred interviewing to being interviewed. I pay attention. I ask questions that make it clear I have heard what they say and want to hear more. I track the conversation — I’m not leaping from one topic to another.
But even if you don’t like listening, LISTEN anyway. There’s a few key reasons to do this.
• Very first, you’re not spil fascinating spil you think you are. Not by a long slok. I don’t care if you’re Jon Hamm or Joe Scarborough or the head of an investment bankgebouw or ambassador to Ghana. You’re simply not that interesting. Talking on and on about yourself is annoying. Trust mij on this. I’ve done lots of cool things, worked for Tom Hanks and for governors and CEOs and climbed mountains and such. But I’m not that interesting.
• 2nd, I know my story already. I don’t want to hear it again. I want to hear hier story.
• Third, she very likely is pretty interesting. But even if not, she has something to say and longs to be heard.
• And fourth, listening is an amazingly under-appreciated talent. You will be rewarded for doing it. Hearing someone’s story and details about their life is what it’s all about, spil far spil I’m worried. I always come away the better for listening. Always.
Next time, wij’ll talk about lovemaking and money, and begin talking about some advice for women overheen 50 te the dating world.