Picture this. You’re lounging te leger with the man you’ve fallen madly ter love with. It’s only bot a few months, but you are SURE he’s the one. He just kissed you and you feel more satisfied and more loved and content than you’ve everzwijn felt te your life. Ultimately! You’re done with the dating after divorce toneel! Your prince is here! Mr. Right has arrived!
You turn to your dude and look into those beautiful eyes. You can see he’s spil glad spil you are. And then you ask, “So, when do you think your divorce is going to be finalized?”
If this wasgoed a movie toneel, this is the ogenblik the romantic music abruptly stops and the audience gasps. What are you thinking asking someone you’ve known for three months that question?? Do you expect him to response, “Now that I’ve met YOU, I’m going to make sure my divorce is final next week so wij can stir ter together, get married, merge our families and live joyfully everzwijn after!”
I feel I am somewhat of an authority when it comes to knowing the divorced stud. Of course, every boy and his situation are different, but ter genérico terms, I think I can securely say I know a little bit about how the divorced stud thinks.
EVERYTHING MOVES SLOWER ter the relationship. That’s the divorced man mentality a loterijlot of times. And that’s actually truly clever! I do know a few divorced guys who dive ter head very first into every relationship and end up divorced three or four times.
1. Where do you think this relationship is going?
He doesn’t care right now. He’s just having joy. That doesn’t mean he will never get serious with you. It just means you both need more time. Let the relationship develop naturally.
Two. When do you think your divorce is going to be finalized?
None of your business! Plus, does it indeed matter? Some people have a rule that they won’t date people who aren’t officially divorced. I couldn’t disagree with that rule more. People think if someone isn’t divorced, there’s a chance they might reconcile with their ex. That might be true, but someone can get back together with their ex at any time, even if there’s a divorce decree that’s bot sitting on their desk for five years. If someone’s divorce is taking a long time to toebijten, it’s either financial issues, a fight to reach an agreement or laziness.
Trio. When are wij going to introduce our kids to each other?
No offense, but at the beginning of a relationship, the two of you are into each other. Why would you want to hop ter and get the kids together? To test it out? I hate that treatment. My opinion (and you can take it or leave it) is that you better be pretty darn sure it’s going to work out when you bring your kids into the mix. Because if they get close to his kids, and then you and the dude split up, the kids are the ones who suffer another loss, fresh friends that they will never see again.
Four. Why don’t you everzwijn tell mij you love mij?
If you have to say that to someone, you have your response: Because he doesn’t.
Five. Do you still have feelings for your ex?
Of course he still has feelings for hier. She is not only the mother of his children, but the two of them stood te gevelbreedte of Schepper and took vows. He might feel angry or hatred, even, but I think that there’s a part of every divorced person (whether they want to admit it or not) that will always love a little part of his or hier ex no matter what.
6. Did you everzwijn cheat when you were married?
If you ask this question, you better make sure you are able to treat the response.
7. Would you everzwijn cheat on mij?
This is sort of a stupid question. Like someone is going to say, “Hmm..I don’t know. Maybe.” The reaction will always be “no,” but you will never truly know.
8. Why do you think your kids don’t like mij?
Umm. because you’re not Mom? It took mij a long time to learn not to take anything private when it comes to the kids of a bf or gf. I bet they DO like you. They just don’t like the fact that Dad has a gf. They want Mom to be his gf. Nothing you can do, so just don’t worry about it.
Again, are you sure you want to hear the response to this question? “You can’t treat the truth!” -Jack Nicholson, A few Good Boys. Don’t ask unless you can treat the truth.
Ten. Think wij will everzwijn get married?
Not if you keep asking that. Let the person get there. Give it time. Especially te dating after divorce, people don’t get engaged three months into a relationship. Actually, some people get engaged quickly and they end up divorced.
The thing is, I get you. When you eventually meet a excellent boy, even ter the very first few months, you might know you are te love. That’s wonderful! But what I’ve learned is if you wait a year or two, and you still feel like you did ter month number three, then what you have is truly positivo. Unluckily, when people don’t wait, that’s when divorce number two happens.
Excellent questions to ask someone you’ve dated for less than a year:
1. What should wij do tonight?
Two. Why do I like you so much?
Four. How did I get so fortunate to meet you?
Five. Do you know how fortunate you are to have met mij?
Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Doll Smiling. She is also the author of the comedic novel, FREE Bounty WITH PURCHASE about life after divorce. Ms. Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter and columnist for Sun-Times Media. She lives ter Chicago with hier two kids. And she’s divorced (obviously.)