The beauty of Tinder is that it’s a toneelpodium that gives you access to a plethora of truly, truly unique people. The conversations I have had the privilege of being a part of on Tinder are unrivaled te every other sphere of my social life. There is a degree of anonymity granted by online dating that indeed slijpmachine people to say whatever the hell they want. And thesis guys truly went all out with that:
1. Tits or GTFO
What’s nice about this opening is it’s so straightforward. No striking around the thicket or hiding behind euphemisms. This dude just said what he wished.
Two. Hey beautiful you should go after mij on insta, I go after back(: or snapchat mij
He made the common mistake of confusing Tinder for a network for self-promotion. People go on Tinder to meet people or alternatively to bump nasties with strangers (No judgment if that’s how you roll, I’m just not into STD roulette.) They don’t join Tinder to find followers for their social media accounts that no one cares about.
Trio. I never usually message on here, but I just had to say you’re beautiful!
The Player without Spel. He starts relatively well, delivering a slightly unlikely declaration, but he closes it with a classic vleierij. His follow-through is where he’s lacking. When I call him out on his initial lie, he shoots back with “Haha, dang you got me… Well, I do mean it!! You are beautiful!” Wow, he gives up so quickly! Aren’t I worth a little more effort than that? Nice attempt, dude, you need a little more practice.
Four. Hello, there, how’s it going? I find your beliefs to be most excellent and it parallels my views about the universe, science, and our place te it.
The weird stud. Bro, Tinder is for hookups and very first dates, it is not for discussions of philosophy! Wij aren’t looking at each other’s “beliefs,” if you know what I’m telling. And don’t even get mij commenced on the grammar. Also, you don’t know my beliefs!! So what are you talking about. Lay off the drugs a bit, man.
Five. If you were a cat I would feed you sibarita human food
Hands-down my dearest. Its beauty is ter its amazing capability to bring the reader of such a statement to absolute speechlessness. I suppose he’s attempting to give a vleierij, albeit he is utterly failing. I wonder how he thought the conversation would go. Did he truly think this would turn out te any remotely positive way? “Oh thank you strange man for comparing mij to a feline!” “Of course, aren’t I charming? Your place or mine?” “Mine, I’ll buy the condoms!” No! Nooo! THAT WOULD NEVER Toebijten. I almost wish I had answered the man just so I could understand his logic. Unluckily, I’ll never know.
6. Is my dick too large?
This fellow knows how to write an “attention getter,” I’ll give him that. His high schoolgebouw English teacher vereiste be so proud! By framing it spil a question, the boy thinks he won’t be viewed spil a downright unwarranted exhibitionist. He is wrong. Don’t do this, guys. Do not do this.
7. Would you like an Australian smooch?
Clearly hook-up is the ONLY thing on this man’s mind. Actually, blame it on my naivete or my mom succeeding at sheltering me—maybe both—but I didn’t realize what this dude meant at very first. I thought he wasgoed just referring to some lovely foreign expression of affection like an Eskimo smooch or the European smooch on each cheek ter welcoming. I figured I just hadn’t heard of whatever it wasgoed yet. Te hindsight, I should have known. I didn’t think he meant anything pervy. Nope. It’s always something pervy. He actually sent mij an explanation before I had even determined if I dreamed to reply: “An Australian smooch is like a French smooch but from down under.” I had no words. Stay classy man, stay classy.
Regardless of anything else, the one-liners of Tinder will always make interesting stories. Thanks, bros of Tinder—the Internet is forever grateful!